Tidings of Great Joy!

 Since school has been out, we've been staying as busy as we want to be.  Which means, we've spent some long mornings in our PJs and lots of time with our family and friends!

Headed to the library one afternoon.  He is getting so good at puzzles and is never short of an imagination either!

 I think this year, John Thomas celebrated Christmas at least five times: school, with Nana Gay, home, his grand parents...  It is easily his favorite holiday thus far :).

 My brother and his kiddos were also able to come up this year.  So Gramma was very busy cooking and we were all busy soaking up the family time!

 We also ventured to Shadrack's to see the light show this year.  Of course, everyone else in East Tennessee had the same idea--so it turned into a three hour road trip.  If I'm being honest, there a few not-so-holiday-spirited exchanges as we were all crammed into my car for the "three hour tour."  Now I'm humming Gilligan's Island!

 It was well worth the drive and wait, and I hope to add this to our list of Christmas traditions!

 My poor brother, who is 6'4", had to sit in the third row of my car.  Ha ha!  I mean, I really hated that for him and I appreciate his ability to take one for the team :).

Me and my lil honey bear before the candlelight service at church.  

The family on our best behavior.

 What it was actually like around my house over the holidays!

 Christmas morning was awesome!  John Thomas loved Santa's gift and everything else he opened, including his new pajamas!

 Love the hair!

 He'll be ready for camping in the Spring, with his new sleeping bag!

After Christmas, I was in desperate need of a quiet getaway.  So I trekked to Fall Creek Falls.  I had the park to myself, except for the ten deer that I ran into.

 I think I could have stayed all day, except it was starting to snow.

 It wouldn't be a real adventure unless I got a little turned around on the trail and ended up hiking twice as far as I had intended.  By the time I got back to my car, this is what my boots looked like.

 Since Christmas, I've been keeping busy hanging with friends.  Went to see Les Miserables.  It's almost 3 hours long and only about an hour of it is worth watching.  I have also spent some time with my neighbor, Katie.

 And, I decorated John Thomas' big boy room with his big boy bed!

Last night was his first night in his new bed and he didn't get up once!  But this is how he looked before he woke up this morning.  Notice the pillows have been thrown about and his animals are all over the place.  I hope for his future wife's sake, he learns to be a little more tranquil in his sleep over the next 20+ years.  

The next part of the blog is about my New Year's resolution.  Read at your own peril. :)

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Façade

So after my solo hiking trip, which gave me lots of time to think and clear my head, I know what I have to resolve to do for New Years and for myself.  And, it ain’t gonna be easy.  This year, I am letting go of my fears.  Okay, okay not all my fears.  Let’s be honest, God put the fear of spiders or snakes or that scary guy with a mask in an unmarked white van in us for a reason.  There are fears that motivate and fears that petrify.  I’m focusing on the fears that keep me from being the person that God wants me to be.  Truth be told, there are more of them than I care to put a label on, but I need to put a few out there so that the handful of my blog followers can help hold me accountable.

1     1.  I am afraid that I am going to grow old all by myself.  Not that there is anything wrong with being alone—I would just prefer to find someone to share life with.

2     2.  I am afraid that I will never let myself love again.  In the interest of protecting my heart, I might try to sabotage even the best relationship so that I don’t get hurt.

3     3.  I fear that John Thomas will find someone to replace me with too.

4     4.  I am afraid of looking weak.  Therefore when people, even close friends and family, look at me with pity in their eyes it makes me want to scream.  In fact, when I look overwhelmed, please don’t feel sorry for me.  Instead, tell me to put on my big girl britches and ditch the fantastic pity party I have thrown for myself.

5    5.  I care too much about what others think.  I want to look strong (#4) because I care how you perceive me.  This might be the most dangerous of all my fears, because it is the one most likely to keep me from being true to myself.

In the interest of peeling back the mask, here is the real me.  No make-up, in a hat without a cute kid in the photo to distract you.

 

I am still a tomboy at heart, although I can clean up real nice.  I’d pick watching a basketball game over shopping almost any day.  I still get the newspaper in my paper box and use a phone book.  I like to talk about nerdy stuff like books and movies.  I am almost always trying to be funny, but 90% of the time I have to end my sentences with “I was trying to be funny.”  I have a close relationship with God most of the time.  Here lately, I’ve even caught myself listening to a sermon or two on the radio.  But I still make uncharacteristically horrible decisions.  Sometimes I feel lonely—even in a room full of friends.  I like to eat good food, dance, drink, sing, play games.  I loathe losing.  My closest friends and family see me without make-up more often than they prefer.  Most of the time I love my job.  I hate waste.  I choose quality over quantity in every respect and I am still learning to love myself again.  

I hope that as midnight rolls around tomorrow night, you all find yourself exactly where you hoped you'd be.  More importantly, my wish for each of you is for a blessed 2013 and a year that is memorable for all the right reasons.