Heaven's New Angel

You may not remember my blog post from several months ago about the Ugly Beautiful, but this week has been a perfect example.  This week I celebrated my Pre-Release party for LYFE and I had to say goodbye to one of the most important people in my life, my Mamaw.

I sat by her side for hours, reminiscing, praying, singing, humming, holding her hands.  When I finally had to say goodbye, I looked her in the eyes and told her she was an amazing grandmother.  I told her that I loved her and I could see in her eyes that she wanted to say she loved me too and she was proud of me.  Even though she had hardly moved while I was there, she was reaching her hands towards me. I realized she was trying to give me a hug.  I leaned down, wrapped her hands around my neck and lost it.  Sobbing almost uncontrollably. Because I don't know how to say goodbye, I just told her I'd see her soon and that she had to go on ahead and get everything ready for us.  I prayed for Jesus to take her hand and lead her home.

She continued fighting for life until my mom showed up several hours later.  After my mom sat on her bed, Mamaw's breathing relaxed almost immediately.  Mom hugged her and told her she loved her and then she said,  "Momma, I guess I'll get to rock you to sleep one last time" and moments later, my Mamaw let go.   She was smart, tenacious, hard-working, loving, no-nonsense (when she had to be), faithful, honest and the only grandmother I ever had.  Mamaw I thought of you at church this morning and asked Jesus to give you a hug.

In our last hours, I sang many songs to comfort her.  Amazing Grace, Silent Night, How Great Thou Art...But maybe the song that was the hardest to get through was Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water.

When you're weary 
Feeling small 
When tears are in your eyes 
I will dry them all 

I'm on your side 
When times get rough 
And friends just can't be found 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 

When you're down and out 
When you're on the street 
When evening falls so hard 
I will comfort you 
[ Lyrics from: http://www.dge+over+troubled+water_20124580.html ] 
I'll take your part 
When darkness comes 
And pain is all around 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will lay me down 

Sail on Silver Girl, 
Sail on by 
Your time has come to shine 
All your dreams are on their way 

See how they shine 
If you need a friend 
I'm sailing right behind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind

Mamaw I love and miss you so much. I will always be your doodlebug.  

Your favorite (and only) granddaughter,

-Rachel

xoxoxo